I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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