She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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