I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
they're like a gay fantastic four
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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