he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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