i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
