i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
