so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
