that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize