A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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