so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
