So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize