the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Pappa wants mamma naked
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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