I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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