i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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