If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
