3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
