The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
