My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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