I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
