Fine. I'll sleep in my office
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
