Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
