just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just want nice things and good sex
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
