saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
