"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
