They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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