New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
