dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
false alarm, still single
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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