i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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