CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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