Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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