i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
