Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
