i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
