he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
