Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
