She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
