There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
