Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
