Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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