Umm I'm too high to move.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
