Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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