I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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