I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He did a backflip because drugs
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