I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
