Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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