Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
