Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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