she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize