You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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