I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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