i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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