the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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