1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm determined to sit on that face.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
