TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
