Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
