Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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