Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Someone came in the potted fern
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
