so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
please don't ironically join a cult
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