This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
