I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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