Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
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