Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize