I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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