some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
