reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
