i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My penis needs a shock collar
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
