i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
