I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize